A love letter to Haitian/Haitian Diaspora Girls and Women by From Fille to Femme
Dear bèl fi,
“Bèl fi fi”, a term of endearment that relatives would use for me as a little girl, comes to mind as I write to all of you… bèl ti fi… bèl fanm…beautiful little girls… beautiful women. My love letter to you all is this… You are enough. You always have been and always will be, no matter what. No matter what anyone has told you or hasn’t told you. Maybe “I love you” or “you are enough” are words that you have not heard directly or may have not exactly felt from the one(s) you are or were closest to, like a family member, “friend”, or a significant other, but it’s still completely true. You are loved and you are more than enough, seriously & utterly no matter what or whom is present or not.
Growing up within Haitian culture is such a wonderful and dynamic ride, especially as a native, “diaspora”, or maybe first-gen raised outside of the motherland. Many of us daughters (even sons) of the island did not hear & experience enough or possibly any type of love, reassurance, or healthy support, so here I am. At times I wished for a certain type of love, affection, and support on a consistent basis from others, especially when I needed it most, but I eventually learned where this all comes from. All this time it all came from within!!! ‘Within’ meaning in the heart and soul where God/The Light resides, forever.
Now a few months shy of hitting a new, monumental milestone, I’ve had plenty of difficult growing pains, fair shares of rollercoaster rides, and most importantly, God-given time to realize and finally come to comprehend my early life journey as a first-generation raised by incredible, imperfectly-perfect humans from the islands. To say my journey ‘wasn’t always easy’ would be an understatement, yet now, if I had a choice, I would never go back to change a thing.
What gave? Cause something had to give.
As cliche as it may sound, my past made me stronger and only a better version of myself. Now, I have the ability to say I never gave up, finally put myself first, and discovered what self-love truly means. Every hard moment I thought I could never overcome actually did pass. I found success from the biggest and smallest challenges and experiences that I had deemed as, “mistakes” & from when I believed I wouldn’t survive. So, to be able to write this wholeheartedly while being aware that I have so more life left to learn, grow, and navigate on this complicated planet within the imperfect human experience, is a huge & bold blessing that I want you all to receive as well. I was only able to survive and make it this far because of The Lord and well, of course, being of Haitian descent, lol.
All of the stressful circumstances I found myself in felt so painful, dreadful, confusing, and all of the sort, but yet again, I wouldn’t go back and change anything because it made me the strong, resilient, and imperfectly-perfect young woman I am today. With that being said, something we hear so much is, “Haitians are so resilient”, and honestly that term ‘resilient’ is one that I and others within the community are starting to question and challenge a bit for various reasons, but this is a loaded topic for another day hahaha.
Still, I’ll remain proud and grateful for the resiliency that has been instilled within me from my God-given journey, Haitian roots, and the aftermath of whatever our country has been through. We were designed this way for a reason…perfectly designed as a one of a kind, remarkable, immensely intelligent, creative, gorgeous, Divinely powerful, and capable people, through and through. I thoroughly believe this with all my heart. Haitians are destined for more; the best of the best; the crème de la crème, despite the hardships, because sometimes the greatest things in life are risen from the trenches. With resiliency, victory comes at last, even if it arrives from baby steps and seemingly ‘small’ wins, no matter the trial or tribulation.
The devil hates any type of light that still shines even after tricks, confusion, or attempts at defeat. We are way too bright for the enemy who stays tryin it solely out of pathetic misery. There’s nothing else it can do besides that!!! Naturally, nothing that’s weak is gonna be intimated by anyone that’s with them at their low, looser level right??? Pathetic, negative energy goes for what it can’t have, always losing in the end because it’s that worthless & idiotic…Too idiotic to realize its pathetic self, every time.
Victory At Last
Nou la. We’re here. Still here and always will be as long as we keep following The Light and remain in our resilient, Divine, and strong energy/power that God so willingly provides. The same power/blessing that was given to our Haitian ancestors runs through our gorgeous veins present day.
If none of this resonates with you as a Haitian/Haitian diaspora right now, I completely understand and extend extra love out to you. It’s not easy. It’s not that simple, I know. Still, maybe somewhere at sometime this will gently touch you when it’s meant to because after-all, if you’re reading this, it’s probably for a reason… Truth cannot be denied, especially as it comes from The One Who is The Only Truth, Way, and Life (John 14:6). I pray that this undeniable truth settles within all of you, so beautifully and gently, as this is what got me to this point now.
It was a journey that felt extremely lonely, painful, and dark but aforementioned I successfully learned I was never truly alone and had all I needed within me even while I still yearned for it outside/around me, understandably because of natural human nature. I made it even with a seemingly slipping, dying grip that made think I couldn’t hold on anymore. I held on and it was more than worth it because that unconditional love, support, reassurance, trust, and validation was always within even if things seemed clouded.
I want to share this with you all during HHM because every aspect of us matters even in times of celebration and joy. As I write this, I too am navigating some tough emotions & aftermaths, as some of you maybe as well. I too am always growing & healing as an individual, yet I can happily and confidently say it’s all worth it. It’ll always be worth it, especially when I remember my heritage & where I come from. Remaining connected with the heritage feels like an impenetrable, soothing balm and safety net to fall back on whenever I need to. Ayiti will be forever. May this HHM and love letter inspire the same in you so we can continue to build up our beautiful community and have it thrive, whether it’s in big or small ways, with the strongest essences of creativity, kindness, wisdom, light, positivity, etherealness, and resiliency—what we Haitians, of course, know best.
Love, From Fille to Femme 🩷🇭🇹🙏🏽 Subscribe/Follow to discover more <3