I can’t even fully believe that I just wrote that…29, wow… That number seems so big and foreign to me. At the same time I’m in love with how that sounds. Grown, beautiful, and sexy 29!!! For years I had imagined myself being at least engaged, maybe married, or preparing to have kids, or maybe already having my first child between 28 & 29 years old. Long story short, I could not be happier that things didn’t turn out the way I had hoped. As a teacher I already take care of a load of children all day, everyday whom I love so dearly, so I am extremely fulfilled and grateful to not be married and to not be a parent at this point in my life.
Don’t get me wrong, I love children, learning about pregnancy, and the journey of parenthood, but I know without a doubt that it’s not what’s meant to be right now. I will marry and create a family one day, yet it’s simply not the chapter I’m ready for or desire right now. After a ton of prayer and a quarter-life crisis (lol), God really showed out & did His big one. He revealed to me what HE wanted for me, which is GREATNESS. Something better than I could’ve imagined. He surpassed my expectations by blessing me with incredible gifts that I didn’t know I needed and have benefited me substantially. That’s how good He is. Throughout the past 5-7 years, God truly worked on transforming and strengthening me for this portion of my journey/purpose.
Maybe in the future I’ll dive more into my career development/journey and the history of my early 20s but all in all, I am extremely grateful for the career(s) I have built with the support of the Lord & all that I learned & gained from my experiences as a caretaker. I gained tremendous & wonderful, powerful wisdom, healing, and guidance on my purpose, my real identity, and the various relationships that I hold in life. I can now say that I am fully content, grateful, and overjoyed with God’s consistent/perfect timing, mercy, grace, protection, and guidance within me. Five to ten years ago, I wouldn’t have been able to make such a statement, so that just goes to show how real and consistent He is.
As my 29th birthday soon approaches, I must reflect on and share the most important and valuable lessons & words of wisdom that I gained and will cherish and hold onto forever. They will, without a doubt, be important for me to remember and utilize in the next chapter(s) of my life. I want to share this with you all because I truly believe in these lessons and have experienced & witnessed how vital and effective these inspiring treasures are. We should be carry them with us as we maneuver throughout life no matter what our age! To say I’ve transformed exponentially within the past 5 years would be an understatement.
The growing pains and ups & downs were all worth it in the end. Here are 29 lessons/words of wisdom I will carry into my 29th birthday and the future (there will be a bonus point I’ll make at the end, for fun!) These are not in any particular order by the way. Please feel free to takeaway pieces of this for yourself if you feel even just a small spark or a nudge within…
- Forgive yourself not being perfect and for any mistakes you made, seriously. Anything and everything that you are still resentful towards, forgive it and start over. We are all allowed forgiveness if we are remorseful, even from ourselves.
- Like, love, and appreciate yourself. Your essence, sexuality, and characteristics (internal and external) are a beautiful and normal thing.
- Always be your authentic self in any room you walk into.
- Allow & give yourself grace. Treat yourself as the precious being you are because THAT is what will make you stronger (not beating yourself up, being critical, and self-deprecating).
- Prayer is power. Healing through good, healthy therapy along with prayer is transformational. Be ready to pace yourself, remain patient, and openminded though. God actually answers prayers in Perfect timing for any and everything (big or small).
- Forgiveness towards others and yourself truly brings about internal healing. No one is too good to apologize and harboring resentment deteriorates you inside. This will then seep through your outer reality!
- Speak up & advocate for yourself always, yet, never behave entitled, especially not when it comes to others’ assets, space, energy, or time.
- Stand up for others and for what is right, regardless of what others may or may not think.
- Invest in yourself creatively, mentally, and physically FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR FUTURE only.
- Integrity is important for keeping a healthy relationship with yourself and others.
- Ask for help whenever you need it. It’s more than okay, even if you think you’ve already “asked too many times”. Put your pride down. *If you care about and respect yourself, you will find people who do too. People will want to support you because you support yourself. We are all worthy of support.*
- It’s okay to not feel okay (and you don’t need to apologize for it, ever). Seek God/Jesus to continuously lean on and be your safe haven. Trust and know that you’ll always need Him and He’ll always want you (no matter what you do or don’t do). You can only make it so far without Him before you really start to get fed up with why you never actually feel satisfied.
- In this life, ups and downs are inevitable but don’t be afraid of them. Be fearless.
- Don’t be ashamed of your interests and passions.
- Come to know who you really are by exploring your identity (your likes, dislikes, boundaries; what tickles you, your quirks; truest/ deepest desires). **Also, tap into bits of your past to rediscover what brings you joy and peace.**
- Stay true to yourself by not allowing others to persuade you or shame you for who you are. To me, people like this do not hold good energy & are not reputable company to keep.
- Don’t judge others. Do not judge others for how they may appear, especially not with having little info about them.
- Do NOT worry about being disliked; as long as you like and love yourself, that is all that matters.
- Confidence will take you a long way. Believe in YOUR SAUCE. You are enough and your ideas and feelings matter. We are all special and deserving of decent respect to be our own individual selves.
- People can read and sense your energy subconsciously, even if you don’t think they can. Therefore, be in touch with YOUR subconscious. (How are you speaking to yourself? What do you believe about yourself?…hopefully no lies)
- Being self-deprecating ladies and gentlemen is not cute or funny. It is actually self-harm and completely unnecessary.
- Don’t be your enemy. You should be your best-friend. Do not completely rely on others for everything, especially not for your happiness, joy, and success. Don’t sit around waiting for others to fix you or satisfy you.
- No one is your enemy or competition.
- Do NOT pour into others’ cups when yours’ isn’t equally filled. This is not the definition of friendship, partnership, teamwork, or family. Choose yourself and then remove yourself from the unreciprocated situation, especially after you have vocalized your concerns a number of times and no changes or efforts are made.
- Trust yourself. If you don’t trust or believe in yourself, how can you learn to trust others who are worthy of trust?
- When you make mistakes or “selfish” decisions sometimes, this does not make you a bad person or unworthy.
- Your entire past is not your whole identity. Do not give the past permission to cage you in forever.
- Revel in each day. Appreciate the day to day no matter what’s going on.
- LISTEN TO AND PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR BODY AND GUT. This goes hand and hand with respecting your own boundaries by actually keeping and enforcing them, shamelessly and confidently.
- *Bonus*: Allow yourself the freedom and right to rest and reset whenever you need to, unapologetically.
Love, Caro xoxo